Hello, my name is...

So far on this blog, I have not held back about sharing who I am. But I've never said who I am NOT. I am my sin. I am not the mistake I made years ago. I am not the time I fell, and refused to get up. I am not a bad math test. I am not regretful. I'm not forgotten. I am loved. I am forgiven. I am treasured. I am a child of the one true King. :) Now it's about you...

You are not your sin. You are not the mistake once made. You are not the time you fell. You are not a bad history test. You are not regretful. You are not forgotten. You are loved. You are forgiven. You are treasured. You are a child of the one true King! (just a little reminder to put some perspective in your day)

An explanation

    I started this website in the summer, around July, and I knew that once school started, my posts would slow down, but I didn't think they'd stop all together. But then, life happened, and I apologize to those of you who stayed here waiting for me to post, and I never did. A lot has happened in my life within the past few months. A close loved one passed away about a month ago, and I'm not going to lie to you guys, it was pretty rough. I took it really hard, and am still going through a tough time. On top of that, my parents have been fighting quite a bit lately and my dad has taken up drinking again. Dealing with death, family addiction, while still trying to spend time with friends, doing well in school, and not losing your mind... it was a lot.
    So why am I telling you this? Maybe because I feel like I should tell you where exactly I've been, or maybe because I just needed to tell someone. Or because there is a positive message in all of this pain. When all of this was happening, Jesus was the only thing in my life that was going well. He was the only one there for me when I couldn't talk to anyone else. It amazes me how my relationship with Christ can continue to grow in the roughest times of my life thus far.
    Though I am still dealing with a lot of these problems in my life right now, and I'm still trying to keep up in school, I'm going to start posting again (yay). I don't want to make any unrealistic commitments, so I'm going to start with one post a week, and see if I can do more from there.
    Just know that I am grateful for all of you who read and keep up with my website. I originally just made this as a personal record about my life walking with Jesus, and I honestly didn't think anyone would have interest in it. I love you all :) God bless!

Playlist #2 Spending time with Jesus

Recently I've learned there are so many things you can do to spend time with Jesus, and one of the most obvious (other than praying of course) and commonly overlooked is listening to songs that praise Him. So, here are my favorite songs to listen to when I just want to spend some time with Jesus.

1. Desert Song- Hillsong Untied (this was the first worship song I'd ever heard... like ever; I can still remember hearing it at my friend's church)
2. Remind Me Who I Am - Jason Gray
3. You Are More- Tenth Avenue North
4. Bless The Lord (Son of man)- Tye Tribbett and G.A.
5. Times -Tenth Avenue North
6. Restore- Chris August (I'm going to do a post on this someday when I write about dating and marriage)
7. The Motions- Mathew West
8. Worn- Tenth Avenue North
9. 10,000 Reasons- Matt Redman
10. Christ is Risen - Matt Maher
11. Oceans (where my feet may fall) - Hillsong Untied (This song.... wow)
12. Hold Us Together- Matt Maher
13. Should've Been Me- Citizen Way
14. Scandal of Grace- Hillsong Untied (Again, this song.... WOW)
15. Furious- Jeremy Riddle (this song is why I named my website "His love is furious")

Guess who's back? Back again...

I'm really sorry everyone, if there is anyone reading these :) I've had a really busy week with camping, and my first ever real concert, and my friend was going through a really tough time. But finally, my life is calming down again, or at least for a few weeks until school starts :) Anyways, for the time being, I will try my best to post something once a day :)Thank you all for being patient! God bless!

Prayer request

So today, I'm asking for you guys to pray for my friend. She's going through a really tough time right now. She's dealing with anorexia and it's getting pretty bad. I've tried showing her how beautiful she is, but she won't see it. She feels as though everyone leaves her because she is fat and she hardly ever eats. She's 18 and weighs a little less than 90 lbs, and it keeps dropping quickly. There's absolutely no way she can get through this without the help of the Lord. Please, pray for my friend :)

Update July 23rd

So I'm very sorry I haven't posted anything for a few days. It's been a crazy weekend, and the chaos continues though this Sunday. I say it as though it's a bad thing, but it's really not! I've just had a lot of things to do and I have like 2 seconds to breathe today, and it gets crazy again this afternoon. But I sort of enjoy the chaos in a way. I would rather be super busy, than  have nothing to do. ANYWAYS I found this on instagram this morning, and I think was a great way start my day. Just a little reminder about how when something seems bad in the moment, it could lead to something better down the road :) Hope everyone has a great day. God bless!

Absence vs. Silence

     God is never absent... though He may be silent. This is what my pastor told me once, when I was going through a tough time in my life, and was questioning if God was still there. The problem is, most of us often mix up Absence and Silence. But the truth is, God loves you too much to leave you. End of story. But how is it that we remember this, when we are hurt, or in a place in life where God is silent. It really does feel like He's abandoned us sometimes, and it's hard to be able to know He's still there. So how do we know He is still there? Easy. Just remember.
    Think back on all of the times that his presence was obvious. Remember all of the great things that He has done in your life, and in others'. Think back on all of the times He has helped you out of dark times and obstacles you could have never gone through with out him. How He's never left your side. He's helped you out of problems before, and He'll do it again.
     HE LOVES YOU TOO MUCH
     We all get so caught up in the moment, with these small stages in our lives of chaos, that we forget all about the big picture. God has His plan for you. Where you are, is exactly where you are meant to be; right where he wants you. God loves you, and if there were an easier path for you, that still lined up with his plan, you'd be there (if that makes sense).
    If you still feel discouraged, think about it this way. Maybe this is God's way of communicating with you. They always say silence is the loudest cry. Here, let me give you an example. Since I was 8,  I really wanted to study science. Then, last year, I thought I'd get ahead in college credits and took AP biology. And wow that was a slap in the face. I tried my hardest, studying for hours every night, and failing most of my tests. I prayed and prayed that God would help me do better and understand. Nothing happened. The ENTIRE school year, I was struggling to just pass the class. At the time, I saw this as God abandoning me. I felt as though he'd left me to fail. Then I slowly started losing interest in science. At the time I didn't think twice about it, until I started getting more interested in Writing and English. Then one day a few months ago, it randomly occurred to me, that this was God's way of pushing me back on my path.

     Since then, multiple things have happened that made it clear, that science is not for me. I did end up passing the class at the last minute, though I didn't get the college credit. God was there. If anything, He was working hard to help me in the long run. (: I'm going to leave you guys with a song today (yes another Tenth Avenue North) And I BEG that you please take 3 minutes and listen to it. This song has opened my eyes. Its about how God's love is always with you and it never ends. This song means more to me than words can describe

           So, I was scrolling through my tumblr a few minutes ago and came across this post ( I left the usernames above the post in case you were curious) . This simple post just about brought me to tears. I think is something that we all struggle with sometimes; love. I know it's something that I personally struggle with quite a lot. But you have to put it into perspective. We are told to love as we have been loved.

          John 13 34-35 A new command I give you. Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

           What do you notice when you read that verse? The repetition?  The fact that the phrase "Love one another" was used three times is making a statement. But we all know that. We've been told this from the beginning. So why is it that this is such a hard task for us? Because it hurts us? So maybe there's this girl who is dating the guy you like, and maybe she isn't the nicest to you. Maybe there's this guy in your class who is always finding a way to get on your last nerve. Maybe someone has caused you so much pain, physical or emotional, that you've cried yourself to sleep before. And you think, how could I forgive such a thing!?

           Personally, I would see this as an opportunity! If this person, who ever they may be, has clearly hurt you, and sees you showing them nothing but love towards them, they will notice your love. They will be able to see Jesus' love through you! 

          I may have gotten a bit (okay a lot) off topic there, but it's just what came out. I don't really ever plan and proofread these posts. I literally just sit down whenever I fell like I need to talk about something, so please excuse my rants (: I love you guys!

You Are More- Tenth Avenue North

I've been a fan of Tenth Avenue North for quite some time now, but I'd never gotten around to listening to this song until about a week or two ago. Looking back, I think I remember hearing it once one the radio, but I'd never actually listened to it until recently. And I wish, I would have looked it up the second I'd heard of it. This song really would have helped me about a year ago. I felt like I wasn't worthy of forgiveness. I wrote a poem about it once, and I used the phrase "I feel as though I've failed the test, yet You've graded on a curve." I kept dwelling on my mistakes, and everything wrong I'd done in my day to day life. There are some lyrics in the song, that really spoke to me:
"Well she tries to believe it, that she's been given new life. But she can't shake the feeling, that it's not true tonight."
That's exactly the phase I was going through, and it was a dark time in my life. It was really hard to get out of as well. But then I remembered, when I accepted Jesus into my life, I was forgiven. Right then and there, and there is nothing, I could do that would ever change that. Ever. Now that right there, is a great feeling. Hope you guys like the song.

Beautiful Voices 1

     So, I have an obsession with the internet... who doesn't? But one of the things I find myself doing the most is listen to covers on You-Tube. I know there are some people out there who don't like covers, and in a way I agree with them. The people who take an amazing song and completely change it into something different... I hate you. BUT there are still some covers that I think are amazing. Like this one. I was trying to find a piano cover for "Unintended" by Muse this morning, and stumbled into this. At first, I was a bit on the "oh god not another cover" side, but once I heard her voice, I was amazed. If you've ever heard this song before, you know what I mean when I say that it is HARD!
     You have to have a very wide vocal range, especially for the lower notes. But she never struggles for a second. Her voice is very strong, and power, which really helps with the tone of the song. After hearing it once or twice, I figured I had to share it with SOMEONE! So here you guys go, enjoy being mesmerized.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA7-gD2Dcbc

Get To Know Me Tag

So I follow loads of blogs, and I watch a bunch of vloggers on youtube, and almost every single person has done some sort of "Questions Tag" of some sort. So I figured, what a great way to introduce myself :) So I'm just going to get right into the questions

1. If you had to base a soundtrack on your life, what 3 songs would be at the top? Unintended by Muse, Forever yours by Alex Day, and Worn by Tenth Avenue North
2. Are there any books that have made you cry? What were they? I try to stay away from sad books if I can, but I somehow got sucked into "The Time Traveler's Wife" THAT was a waterfall
3. Is there one musician or band member you'd share your life with? Matthew Bellamy from Muse.
4.What's your favorite quote? Smile every minute of everyday, you never know who's falling in love with it
5. Single or taken? My heart is taken, but I'm single (does that make sense? Of course it doesn't)
6. Do you play any sports? I run on cross country
7. Do you have any piercings? Just my ears (I'm so crazy I know)
8. Longest relationship? 8 months
9. How old are you? I turn 16 tomorrow (OMG ASDFGHJKL)
10. Favorite thing to eat? Sushi :)
11. Favorite Color? Green
12. Have you ever been suspended? Yes, in 5th grade... long story. It deserves its own post :P
13. What did you do today? Did some last minute party shopping and made this blog. Pretty exciting day ;)
14. Do you want kids? Yep! I want 2 or 3
15. Do you have any pets? I have 2 precious kitties
16 Zodiac Sign? Cancer
17.Last book you read? Angel by James Patterson
18. Are you listening to a song right now? When am I not? :P It wasn't me by Shaggy
19. Put your music on shuffle, what are the first 5 songs that play (be honest) Oh gosh, I'm a bit scared...
     1. King of Anything by Sara Bareilles (not bad)
     2. Do Everything by Steven Curtis Chapman
     3.What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction (yeah... about that...)
     4. Heart Attack by One Direction (My secret's out guys ;)
     5. Bullet Proof by La Roux
20. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "You'll never make it as an artist?"  ( The book was Struts & Frets by Jon Skovron)
21. Has anyone ever written a poem or song for or about you? Yes, I deal with anxiety attacks and depression, and there was one day 2 months ago that was really bad for me, and a good friend of mine, Natalie, wrote a poem about how it gets better. I treasure that poem
22.Are you religious? Yes, I'm a Christian :)
23. To you, what's the meaning of life? See, this right here is what triggered my first anxiety attack :P I DON'T KNOW!
24. If you could date anyone in the world, who would it be? Dan Howell. No questions asked.
25. What social media sites do you use? Facebook (though I rarely use it) Instagram and tumblr (I have 3 tumblrs, it's a bit insane) I tried making a twitter once, but I didn't like it very much. I'd much rather fangirl on tumblr)

Okay that's enough questions :P For my next post, I'll answer a question or two. :)

So that new year's resolution...yeah (and my new work out playlist)

     So it's just a bit over half way through 2013, and wow did that fly by quickly. So... how's your New Year's resolution going? If you're anything like me, you haven't thought twice about your resolutions since the second week in January, which personally I think is completely normal. I mean we're only human right? The good news is, it's not too late, you still have about 5 months to kick that resolution out of the ballpark! I had this realization earlier this week, and well, that's why I'm on this blog in the first place! My two resolutions were to get out of my comfort zone (and get into shape, but we'll get into that in a second) I know that creating a blog isn't that "crazy" but for me, it's a step in the right direction. It's a way to communicate with new people in a different way, where I normally wouldn't :)
      Then, last night I went to a "Jam Night" with my church with a bunch of people who, at the beginning of the night I didn't know. But by 10, we were all laughing, playing music, and having a great time. Now, if you don't know me, I'm a really shy person, but I love to sing. I've only sang (by myself anyways) to my family and close friends. But last night, I had no problem belting out in front of 10 maybe 15 strangers. And honestly, it wasn't the bad at all.... Where on earth was I going with this story...?
       Right! Resolutions. I was trying to use that story as an attempt of inspiration (though it probably didn't help much...) OF IT'S NOT TOO LATE! Now, like me, I know that most people have the resolution of "get in shape" whether it means losing weight, or just exercising. And I find that I can do everything better with music (who doesn't). So to help you, and myself get back on track, here's my new work out playlist (will be on my playlist page as well) KEEP PUSHING EVERYONE! Remember, you made these resolutions for a reason!

Now, not all of these songs are super up beat and "get up and go" and I know that's what most people look for in work out playlists, so I put a "*" before all the songs that are fast(ish) and up beat

1. The Reckless and the Brave- All Time Low
2. Blurred Lines- Robin Thicke 
3. * Houdini- Foster The People
4. * How Ya Doin- Little Mix ft. Missy Eliott
5. * Wings- Little Mix
6. Sunny Day- Joy Willians
7. * Gentleman- Psy
8. Forever Yours -Alex Day
9. * Wannabe- Spice Girls 
10. *Good Morning Sunshine- Alex Day
11. * What you know- Two Door Cinema Club
12. Turn it on- Franz Ferdinand
13. Since U Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson
14. Locked Out Of Heaven- Bruno Mars
15. * Troublemaker- Olly Murs, Flo Rida
16. With your love- Cher Lloyd
17. * Come & Get It- Selena Gomez
18. Want U Back -Cher Lloyd (Gotta love her in this music video)
19. One Way Or Another- Blondie
20. Blackout- Breathe Carolina 
21. New Shoes- Paolo Nutini
22. * Helena Beat- Foster The People
23. Price Tag- Jessie J, B.o.B
24. * STARSTUKK (yes that's how it's spelled) Clean version- 3OH!3
25. I Kissed a Girl- Katy Perry
26. Reach Out- Hilary Duff
27. Crumble To Peices- Phil Wickham (this one has a slower tempo, but it's great for inspiration!)
28. * Everybody Talks- Neon Trees
29. * Glow- Britt Nicole (most people don't know about Britt, which is a shame; her music is great!)
30. Here's To Never Growing up (is there a clean version?)- Avril Lavigne